The Art of Honesty

“Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” – Ephesians 4:25

“Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” – Colossians 3:9-10

“And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart – about all those [one] will be questioned.” – Quran 17:36

“And cover not truth with falsehood, nor conceal the truth when you know (what it is).” – Quran 2:42

There’re so many people who mistaken reality and masks people wear as their true selves. However, honesty is a beacon of authenticity in any relationship. Trust is the cornerstone that glues souls together and foundation were genuine connections flourish immensely. It’s always a moment when you must pause to determine when to speak about things or when to keep things to yourself. If you have an honest character and morals, you will find that sometimes there’s a tightrope to walk. I always find myself going to God and asking the questions for guidance. Every time I open my heart to God, I find myself tearing up and pouring out my heart. I love to be honest with myself and God, no shield, no proper wording, just vulnerability. It’s hard for me to sugarcoat things and with God’s guidance, being honest with empathy is freeing to the soul. Many times, the fear of repercussions of vulnerability or potential conflict can withhold you from the balance of true intimacy and potential for growth.

I have learned over the past year the art of honesty lies in vulnerability, peeled back layers, and revealing our authentic selves. I found that being your authentic self, being honest with yourself, and being vulnerable with yourself brings so much bliss. It requires you to confront your own fears, whether it is rejection, judgement, or ridicule – you embrace being uncomfortable with transparency and to trust within yourself. When you go through this new perception of transparency with yourself, then you will easily build genuine connections with others.

In romantic relationships, honesty has repeatedly served as a compass that guides you through emotions, insecurities, and desires. Developing emotional intelligence along with open communication regarding your needs, boundaries, and expectations, even when it feels uncomfortable or risky. One thing that I am thankful for is creating space. Creating a space of safety for others to express their thoughts alongside mine, knowing you will be met with understanding and respect. One key to any relationship that you have is creating a safe place of compassion and understanding leads to true intimacy. God always gives us the space of safety, and as we embodied God, we can give that onto people in our lives.

Like friendships, honesty creates mutual trust and respect, while allowing each other to navigate the complexities of life with integrity and compassion. It’s important to be truthful with our friends, even when it’s easier to stay silent. In friendships, establishing your boundaries along with open communication makes the connection deepen. In every relationship in your life, offering your support and guidance with sincerity, rather than false assurances.

Now, before coming to an end, honesty doesn’t mean airing every thought or feeling without filters; it’s about discerning when and how to share the truth in a way that honors both people that you care about. Honesty is affirming our humanity, our vulnerability, and our capacity for meaningful and deep connection. It’s a testament to our willingness to show up authentically, to be accepted and seen for who we are. Flaws and all. “Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself.” – William Shakespeare

No one is perfect by any means. Everyone has fallen victim to not being honest. If you believe you haven’t at all in no point in your life, I am sure your parents, grandparents, aunts, or uncles can share a story. If you take the time to see where your shortcomings are, you will be able to rip the root of the seed out of the ground. If things go without noticing or pulling the seed, you will find yourself continuing habits that you learn in childhood. If you’re curious about the various forms of deception so you are always walking with the covering of God. Here’s a list of the various forms of lies that can manifest and each having consequences:

1. White lies: This is considered “harmless” or socially acceptable to spare someone’s feeling or to avoid conflict. So, if someone isn’t wearing a nice outfit. Tell them the truth so they can go back into the closet and find something else to wear. Might end up finding out that you have a niche for fashion and making people feel good…you can walk right into your purpose with the truth.
2. Omission: This is when someone intentionally withholds information to deceive or mislead others. I’ve been on the receiving end of this, it makes you feel unsteady and creates more uncertainty. Even though, we are all God’s children, intentionally withholding information to deceive others is not what people do when they genuine care about making sure people in their lives feel safe and secure.
3. Exaggeration/Fabrication: Overly stretching the truth or details to make the story more interesting. I look at this more in a mental psychology if a person distorts the reality of the truth. It comes across as untrustworthy and can lead to a lot of more lies to come afterwards. Fabricating entails false information and can lead to misinformation and harm to others.
4. Half-Truths: This is not a margarita but mixing truth with falsehood. While some aspects are to be truthful and overall intent is to deceive. The little half-truth has been something kids seem to have perfected, does that make them bad? No, it’s just exposes that although they want to be truthful. The consequence of the full truth is more fearful to them or the need or approval/acceptance. As children experience this, adults teach them right from wrong. As we grow into adults, we hold ourselves accountable for right from wrong.
5. Gaslighting: Is a form of manipulation where someone denies or distorts facts or events to make the other person double their own memories, sanity, or perception. Gaslighting is not when two people are communicating about their issues and no one is listening, that’s pin picking and no active listening. Gaslighting is when you bring something to someone that bothers you or something they have done that hurts you. Instead of taking accountability or even acknowledging your feelings, the result to shifting the conversation on you and making you feel as if you did something wrong. When in fact all you did was ask a question or bring something to their attention.