“I don’t know what’s next, but I know who’s holding me in the unknowing.”

There are seasons where everything we’ve planned, pursued, or prayed for begins to shift, without warning. Not because we’ve done something wrong, but because God is drawing us into a deeper alignment. One we didn’t choose, but desperately needed.

This is what surrender actually feels like.

Not the aesthetic kind, but the raw kind. The kind that shakes loose old dreams and buried desires. The kind that leaves you still, waiting, and fully undone.

The Slow Breakdown Before Breakthrough

In seasons of uncertainty, our ambitions can become a battleground. When what once made sense starts to unravel—dreams, relationships, timelines—there’s often a temptation to grasp tighter. To overthink. To resist. But what if the undoing is divine?

Many encounter this in moments of stillness they didn’t ask for—whether emotional, physical, or spiritual. It’s in this quiet dismantling that God begins to whisper:

“I’m not punishing you. I’m protecting you. And I’m realigning you.”

Sometimes, when we’ve wrapped too much of our identity in the plans we created, God interrupts with an invitation:
“Get out of the way. I’m doing something deeper.”

Divine Patterns: The Meaning of 12:12

When divine order is being established, God often speaks through symbols and patterns. One such pattern is the repeated appearance of 12:12 kept occurring in my life the past few months.

Biblically, the number 12 is tied to:

• Divine government and kingdom authority
  
• The 12 tribes of Israel
  
• The 12 apostles
  
• The 12 gates of the New Jerusalem
  

It represents structure, alignment, and completion.

Seeing 12:12 over and over again can be a spiritual prompt:

“I am building something. You may feel like you’re losing—but I’m putting things in order.”

This can often appear during times of spiritual awakening or inner transformation. It’s a sign that you’re being realigned with divine timing.

Romans 12:12

“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

When nothing makes sense, this verse is the foundation:

• Hope even when the dream looks dead.
  
• Patience even when the wait hurts.
  

Faithfulness even when you don’t see results.

The truth is, letting go of fruitful things isn’t always rebellion—it’s maturity. Sometimes, surrender means releasing what was good so that what is God can come forth.